1970s granny stripe halterneck
I saw this pattern in a vintage crochet book and dropped everything to start making it. I literally love the shit out of this top, it is the epitome of 1970s crochet in all its magnificent technicolour glory.
Sadly after a quick hook and much oohing and ahhing, whilst feeling the joy of the finished vintage halterneck, I tried it on and well, boobs.
Knockers and halternecks (knockers and any item of apparel that doesn't allow you to wear a bra) are not meant to go together. It saddens me to say that this gem of colourful gorgeousness will never be worn, and will be chucked in the fuck it bucket whilst I sort myself out and stop making inappropriate clothing, vintage or not.
On the plus side it was super easy to make and super gorgeous to fondle, I was spamming instagram with pictures of it and sending the instacrochet community into a frenzy (what crochet addict does not love a granny stripe). Also no special yarn required, just used a big bag of scraps et voila one completely brilliant but completely unwearable garment.
Here's the thing, I don't even mind. It was such a happy make, and whilst I don't get to dazzle the rather conservative neighbourhood where I live with my super cool 1970s fashion sense (I would have liked to do the school run in it, just for a laugh), I do get to have amused Darren with my attempts to cram my wayward boobs into it and I do now get to turn it into a completely new something.
Crochet. It's a win/win thing.