growing stuff

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I may have mentioned before that I have a rather blasé approach to gardening insomuch as I plant things in willy nilly and just hope that they grow/bloom/are happy. It would annoy any keen (or serious) gardener to know that this approach usually proves incredibly successful.

I watch Gardener's World even though I think they are gardening snobs (you should see their faces when anyone mentions hanging baskets!) and they are giving it all that about soil types, drainage, adding grit to your soil and pricking out (*giggles), but it goes in one ear and blah blah blah the other. I haven't got the patience for it. I just want to grow stuff and be surrounded by blousy flowers all summer long.

sarah bernhardt peony.jpg

And so you can imagine how my 'growing vegetables' story is going to go. Vegetables do not appreciate nonchalance, they demand more of you and I have failed, horribly, in my attempt to be there for them. It is not the first time we have had this story either, having a ridiculously long garden makes you feel kind of compelled to do something, grow something, anything. I can feel the weight of it's expectation every time I go down there, which isn't often to be honest because it really is so bloody far away from the house! It just wants some attention and so this year we gave it some.

Now. Remember that I know nothing. Do not judge.

We dug out two beds (from wilderness usually seen in the southern prairies), I planted potatoes in one bed with a row of courgettes at one end. In the other bed I planted some onions (seeds and plants), some squash and a pumpkin. Sounds alright so far huh?

Well the butternut squash has given up the ghost, carked it right there in the middle of bed two. The potatoes have turned into monster triffids that I have no idea how to control, they have all but taken over bed one, smothering the courgettes, which were only just recovering from being eaten by fucking rabbits! The onions look okay but the seedlings have confused me as I have no idea what's a seedling and what is a weed (should have done me some pricking the hell out huh?), the pumpkin is so far the happiest looking plant of the lot, I think he feels sorry for me.

So. Two giant vegetable beds and all have to show for it are some monster potatoes and one kindly pumpkin. I feel bad. I feel bad because I know that many people would kill for a plot of land to cultivate and I'm doing the ground a great disservice by being a bit shit. I feel bad because I just can't be arsed.

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So back to my blousy flowers, lets all pretend you don't know that I'm a vegetable killer. Who needs vegetables anyway? The good news is that after being moved three times the passion flower has finally bloomed, my peonies have all been stunning and my roses are not too bad considering I do nothing with them. I now have five hydrangeas waiting to burst forth in all their glory, one giant monster jasmine that flowered all the way into November last year and a potentially unsuccessful sunflower side project - I thought anyone could grow sunflowers?


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