five things to give up for good this year
By now you know how much I love a new year, maybe not so much the January bit but the new beginnings, empty diaries, monthly planning, new you bit, love all that shit. I love the dreams, the possibilities, the twelve long months of potential and the letting go of old 2014 habits that just cramp your style.
This year I've got five big things that will not be joining me, I've waved them goodbye, they no longer belong, there's too much good stuff going on and 2015 is about to be the best year ever.
1. self-doubt. I like to talk the good talk and I'm all about positive vibes and all that shiz but I do have a tendency to do the doubt thing? Don't we all from time to time? 'Maybe' is my particular poison dart; maybe I shouldn't have done that, maybe I shouldn't have said that, maybe I should try harder, do better, be a nicer person. Blah, blah, blah. Self-doubt can kiss my very un-Kardashian like ass in 2015!
2. people pleasing. I genuinely have got better at this, I think we all do as we get older. Partly in response to being less bothered by what other people think but also because as time goes by you start to realise that your own happiness is the only thing you actually have any control of so that's what should be your priority. However, we also have a tendency to hold on to learned and expected behaviours that make us carry on being nice to people and making other people happy at the expense of our own emotional wellbeing. No way kids, give it up for good.
3. fear of failure/fear of success/fear of any and every bloody thing. You might want to pick up a copy of the most excellent book by Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. She knew what she was talking about that lady and she is the master at teaching people how to tell fear to shove off. Sometimes we let our fear of scary and awesome things hold us back, I'm not just talking about a fear of spiders either. We sometimes sabotage our own happiness because we're too bloody scared of how amazing life would be if we allowed it. Sounds crazy but why else do people stay in unhappy marriages, miserable jobs and nightmarish family situations?
4. criticising. Yourself, other people, the telly, the milkman, your neighbours. Just stop it. Stop it right now, even if your neighbours have just built an enormous ski chalet in the bottom of their garden (yes, mine have), you will not criticise them or complain (much). You will try to resist the urge anyway which sometimes feels like trying to stifle a yawn but go with it, it will make you feel better. Eventually. Probably.
5. procrastination. Such a lovely word, such a lovely comforting thing to do, to procrastinate 'yeah, yeah, I'll do that later', course you will love, and pigs might fly too! Whilst procrastinating is blissful, I will not be doing it any more, well I'll be trying not to do it anyway. I'm convinced that a tiny bit of procrastination is good for you, actually, no, forget it, procrastination is just plain silly (and lazy), if you want to do something, just do it, if you can't be arsed then don't but don't whine about it and don't cry if nothing ever happens in your life the way you want it to happen.