Do you get enough sleep?

I don't.

I suffer from extreme sleeplack and I do like to go on about it too. Obviously I realise that having a small person in the house means sleep doesn't live here anymore but yet I still live in hope. Sleep is my secret lover, I would definitely sneak around with sleep behind Darren's back, if only I had the time.

I am neither a night owl nor an early bird, I have often been baffled at having to choose one or the other. I happen to like going to bed early and getting up late, what does that make me then? Lazy.

I have a variety of strange sleep habits that are not pretty. I grind my teeth, the dentist told me, I never even knew. He then gave me a mouth guard which I never wear, which I probably should because apparently grinding your teeth will eventually destroy them. All of them. The mouth guard is fine really, fits lovely and makes me feel like Rocky Balboa but it makes my mouth feel icky. I don't like the idea of my teeth sitting in a spit bath all night long.

Even worse than bruxism, yes, yes, I know the big word for it and everything, is the fact that I hold my breath when I sleep. Sounds innocuous enough doesn't it? Oh if only.

At various points in the night, usually in the early morning, I hold my breath, sometimes for ages, and then release it. Only I release it really loudly. Really loudly. Imagine the joy of sharing a bed with that every night! Amazing that I'm still married.

The other thing about sleep is how different people are about it. We all take it for granted but I really do. Talking at work once about how many times people got up in the night to pee, I discovered that I was the only person who didn't get up at all. If I have to get up in the night to pee then that is a bad night's sleep right there. Also some people can't lie-in which personally I think is a grand injustice to said person or peoples, Darren being one of them, poor love. My weekly Sunday morning lie-in is guarded heavily. I will not relinquish my right to one morning off. I will NOT. I can hear the girl wake up, hear Darren get up, even wake up enough be annoyed that I've been woken up, and still roll over and go back to sleep. Bloody brilliant.

I find people can be quite negative and catty about those who sleep, like it's a poor personality trait or wearing bad shoes. Going to bed early is completely not cool. Why not? Sleep is essential, it restores and balances you, if you need to sleep all the time or can't get up in the morning then your body is telling you something so just do it. Sleep. Do not feel guilty for it is good stuff. Sleep IS cool. I'm going to start a radical new positive sleep movement, I promise, once I'm a bit less knackered.

This is the cool thing about sleep in my house, Betsy loves it too. She really does, she naps for two hours every lunchtime (cue angels singing), and I love her for it. To pay her back for being such a sleepy dreamboat I will be one of those parents who doesn't mind their teenager sleeping in till lunchtime. No way. She will be allowed to sleep for as long as she damn well wants and didn't they prove that teenagers need lots of sleep anyway. Ha.

Sleep out dudes.