pregnancy at 34 weeks

I have taken to wearing black.

I think this is a good move and my pregnancy addled brain thinks it makes me look less like a weeble and more like a svelte Russian supermodel.  Yep.

I am feeling..., how shall I put it without using a swear word?...chuffing massive!

I have developed the waddle and it is mostly amusing, but not when I want/need to get somewhere fast such as the loo.  No, then it is most definitely NOT amusing!

This big, uncomfortable stage of pregnancy has kind of crept up on me, instead of cute little kicks and flutters coming from my bump, it now feels like the actual alien from Alien is living inside me.  Or as another of my favourite pregnancy bloggers puts it - it feels like I'm gestating a pissed off housecat rather than a chubby wittle baby!!

Stealthy leg swipes, acute headbutting and full-on bladder presses are occurring, inside me, right now. It is the strangest most wonderful feeling in the world and I feel very, very privileged to be on the receiving end.

I visited the midwife yesterday and she told me that I need to start thinking about my birth plan...yikes.  Apart from writing down "give me ALL the drugs, lots of them and NOW....BITCHES!!!" I'm not sure what else to write.

I'm pleased to say that whilst massive, I still managed to get into more non-maternity clothes yesterday.  This top from Boden was ordered yonks ago but was on a delay and when it arrived last week and slipped over my belly I actually squealed like a pig!  The little things.

Also yesterday I was approached by a lovely lady called Lauren who is doing a television programme for Sky called Becoming Mum and Dad about first time parents.  She wanted to know if we wanted to be on the telly.  How cool is that!

Now we love reality telly as much as the next person, I mean I actually couldn't live without Ice Road Truckers, but being on the telly....NO WAY MAN, nuh uh, not on your nelly!!

That is definitely someone else's dream and if it is your dream and you are having a baby for the first time between August and November this year then email Lauren, she would love to hear from you.  And when you are rich and famous and living like a Kardashian, make sure you remember little old blooming me.