how much does a horse fly bite hurt?

It hurts like hell, that's how much.  So now you know.

I suggest you avoid horse flies (and horses for that matter) like the plague because they are in league with the devil and they are OUT TO GET YOU!!

And how do I know this? What gives me the right to tell you to avoid something/somebody/someinsect.  Well I am a victim, I got bitten yesterday morning whilst walking Tilly, TWICE!!...and through my leggings! This means that horse flies are hard core bitches and you better believe it.

They don't just pierce your skin and suck your blood like a mosquito does. No, no, no, these monsters tear open your flesh with their mandibles, rip your flesh open! and then they gorge on your blood so that they can go off to reproduce and give birth to even more horsey monsters.  No wonder it hurts so damn much.

Here is how the action went down...those of you who are squeamish should not be reading this!!

I must have felt the ripping open of my flesh as I was ambling along, I looked down and saw the beast on my leggings and didn't think that much of it, just brushed it away.  Down the road a bit my leg started really stinging, a bit like a wasp sting, and I pulled my leggings up to look but couldn't see much.

Got home, had a proper look and sure enough there are two big bites on my leg sort of near my knee and looking a bit angry so I just bung some Sudocream on them and go about my business.  BTW do you use Sudocream?  It is like wonder stuff and I'm addicted but I'll save that for another post, lest I get distracted from my mega complaint.

Evening comes around and my leg has started throbbing, the two bites look a bit red and angry and so I slather on some antihistamine cream not even thinking about the fact that being pregnant I probably shouldn't use it.  Sure enough the antihistamine works a treat and my leg is soothed and the swelling sort of goes down.

Overnight the pain in my leg is so bad that it wakes me up when I move about - starting to realise the extent of the horse fly powers by this point.

Get up in the morning and the whole side of my leg is swollen and rock hard and hot.  This is not good.  I'm still slathering on bite cream and decide to ask my Dad for some advice, it is at this point that I realise I shouldn't be using it...gulp..and decide to ring NHS Direct for their advice.

They are brilliant.  What a fantastic service, they were so lovely and helpful but basically said (in a really kind way) I shouldn't use the antihistamine cream anymore and that I had to go and see a doctor today!

Erm now I'm feeling really stupid (and more than a bit panicky) but I phone the doctors and they see me straight away.  They confirm that horse flies are evil (I knew it!) and also that I shouldn't be using antihistamine anything, also that I can't use insect repellent when I walk Tilly (so what am I going to do?) and also that I can use some steroid cream (which they prescribed) but if I didn't want to then I didn't have to.

I have decided not to use the steroid cream if I don't have to and instead will be sitting this evening (good job Wimbledon's on), with an ice pack on my elevated leg whilst I try and decide how I can walk Tilly tomorrow (she didn't get a walk today and consequently she hates me), without looking like I'm off to the mountains - for once I hope it'll be cold.

Here ends the massive horse fly complaint but let it be known that you should avoid these beasts at all costs, especially if you are pregnant as you can't use anything on them.  Also covering up with leggings doesn't detract them from their mission (I'm going out in a full-on snow suit tomorrow) but walking near horses does increase your chance of a bite so avoid them too.  Mr P said that if they bite you on your face it can be much worse than a leg or arm bite (something about mega facial swelling) so I'm considering getting a bee-keepers net for my head..because you can never be too safe can you?!

I do apologise for this detour away from my usual happy, picture heavy posts and can reliably inform you that I will be back to my usual blog form tomorrow (that is if my enormous, swollen, painful leg has gone down by then)!!

ps. this is what them bitches look like so you can keep your eyes peeled.